i'm like super bored right now. i dont have anything to do and somehow i dont feel sleepy at all! its weird because i have been spending all day hanging out with my friends which was surely exhausting because well, like my friend said, I was so active which means I must have been spending a lot of energy. The logical thing to do is to sleep to gain more energy but i just cant! I still feel so damn fresh like I just had a 12 hour sleep kind of fresh. I'm trying to search for something worth listening or watching but i just cant find any. I have some dvds to be watched but well i dont feel like watching them. one dvd can take about 2 hours and I can come up with a lot more things to do in that 2 hours that are more useful than just watching a movie. I think I'll just started by talking about the series I've just watched today.

I just watched sherlock Holmes in AXN. Its like one of my favorite series. This sherlock holmes is not anything like the sherlock holmes in sherlock holmes movie which we watched in the cinemas. That sherlock holmes is like the american version of sherlock holmes, and also it takes place in old england. This sherlock holmes series that i watched is more modern. Its like the sherlock holmes in now time. And i love it! it seems more realistic hahaha. And also the sherlock holmes here is more alike like the sherlock holmes in the novel. He's confusing, really hard to read, weird and so freaking smart! But the thing that i like the most from him is his make-me-melting british accent. my god, I cant resist that accent. Its so, i dont know, unknowingly appealing to me. ahahahaha. Anyway i like the sherlock holmes in my sherlock holmes series way better than the sherlock holmes in the sherlock holmes movies. I mean the sherlock holmes in sherlock holmes movie is funny and kinda weird too. But well, he's just not that cool. he's funny but not cool. Well, i guess its one of his attraction. something that makes him attractive. it wont be fun if we have 2 people with same attraction,will it? 

okay then, off to next topic. so i ate sushi today with my friends! Thasia, Bomi, Salsa, Sheren and the package, Mevy and Leo. Haaah it was quite fun even though there are things that I think are upsetting. Its just freaking annoying! And again i cant write it here because there's a lot of possiblities, the one that i talk about can see my blog. I mean hacking is not something new anymore. We must be careful with things we write or record or talk. the world is just not as safe and as friendly as it used to be. isnt it sad?

Okay, I've written 3 paragraphs but I havent felt sleepy yet. what the hell is wrong with me! i used to sleep, like, all the time! 

okay then i think i'll talk about something else. well its about him. hehe. yeah, him. i just cant seem to forget him, you know. we havent met in like, 6 years. i dont know. i dont even have the courage to ask my childhood friend who i just met yesterday about him. I think i'm scared to know things about him. i can just imagine how much pain i would get if i know he has already had someone else. i mean i know i will never be anything for him. he just doesnt like me. i know that. but still, the thoughts of him being with someone else hurts me in a way that i cant even imagine. maybe that's the thing abut first loves. they never really go away. they just stand there and keep hurting you. at least that's what i feel.

oya, i watched battleship in the cinema today. it was great! i mean it was very breathtaking! its the kind of film that can make you wide awake in your sleep. its just amazing. i mean i thought at first it was going to be one of those movies which aliens attacks us at first but then they'll realized about how nice and kind human really are and then be friends with us and then go back to their planet and stuff. but I was wrong. this really is a war between alien and human. i mean the bad side is obviously the aliens. i'm saying this to defend my own race. it just is. come one, you cant suddenly come and attacked us just like that? without any warning or talking or anything? that's a really bad manner for an alien hahaha. for those of you who havent watched it yet, sorry if i;m being such a spoiler. just cant help it. heehhe. but really that film is great. it wouldnt hurt you to watch it if you have time.

after meeting my elementary school friends, i have this feeling to have reunion. not only so i can meet old friends but also so i can meet him. when my friend said about reunion, all i could think about is just a chance to meet him. i think i'm just too sick. i wish i can be those korean girls in dramas who can say their feelings out loud without feeling any doubt or shame. i mean i;m just not that kind of girl. i'm not the kind of girl who can do the confession. i just cant. its just too much. i know nothing will ever change if i keep standing and waiting for someone to come. but well, somehow i just dont know how to step. how can i know there wouldnt be any needles underneath the ground? i mean i'm just too afraid to get hurt. i'm breakable and fragile. i just cant risk myself to be teared apart. i dont think i can put back the pieces together again. and the most important thing is, i dont want to be broken.

I dont feel like writing in the comment box so i might as well write it here. hehehhe. well mage, hehe, actually i think i am still the one you knew, you know, there are times i want to talk to you so badly. I dont know why but everytime i found something new or interesting or if i have encountered some bad times or bad things, you always be the first who came in mind. like today, well, I was kinda upset today because some things.. I cant talk it here even though i want to tell you so badly. aahh its killing me. I dont know. I obviously can talk about it to other people. I mean i'm not that desperate. ahahaha. but somehow if i dont tell you about it, I wont feel.. i dont know.. fine. like i need to tell you stuff.  

I want to talk about you a lot of times but well, like you said, we're not so close like we used to be and you seem so happy with you other friends. I dont want to disturb you. I will come to you when you're alone but if i see you having a company and feel happy about it, i wouldnt want to change that. Maybe you're okay with it but there're some possibilities you companion wont feel the same. Maybe i'm just being too cautious. Its just, it almost graduation, i dont want to, i dont know, make any more enemies hahaha. i want to be remembered with good remarks. things like that. hahaha. silly, isnt it?

And dont worry, I still like you a lot hahaha. It will never change. hahaha. and about me being different, well i dont know about that, maybe i grew up (I'm a year older than you now, kiddo!!!) hahahaha. I think you should make it more detailed cos i dont feel anything changed. maybe my boobs get bigger or maybe my hair gets longer? hahaha. dont read the first one hahaha. feel silly after wrote it

But about me writing differently, well maybe because I am leaving in about, what, 3 months? Somehow it makes me realized, well, to be exact, I have everything anyone could ever wanted right here. I have cool parents like i said, cool sister and cool grandparents hahaha. i'm just afraid that if i leave, there's a lot of chance, i couldnt see them again. Time doesnt stop for anyone. it is cruel and unstoppable, perfect combo. so well, I'm trying to cherish every moment I have with them now. Because ready or not, I have this whole future waiting for me, just cant make them waiting no more. I think i jsut have to be brave and do it. No more second thoughts hahaha. how bout you? are you feeling the same or its just me, being unknowingly, emotional and nasty? hahaha please say you are hahaha. i dont want to be the only pathetic one hahaha. 

Anyway, enough with this topic i think, lets talk about other things!oya, you know, i've been searching for new songs. but somehow it feels like old songs are like way better than now songs. I mean now songs are not bad, their melodies are beautiful. But if its about meaning, i think old songs win. Old songs are not made only with good melodies but also with good and inspiring meaning and advice in the lyrics. maybe its just me hahaha. i mean I love now songs. mostly they're about love but hey, i'm a teenager after all, i still am believe in love in the first sight, about finding the one, those kind of things, are you? My mom said the way im thinking is so unrealistic. I wonder, would be i like her when i got older then? I mean I just cant imagine how my loving magical things, easy affected brain can be turned into my mom's kinda cruel, cold, stiif, so annoyingly realistic brain. seems impossible. but well we'll never knew what could happened to us hahaha.

Oya anyway do you have any recommendation for good movies? I havent seem any movies for ages hahaha. I'm so way behind. I'm trying to catch up now. I've watched the vow (so freaking beautiful but so damn sad, but why didnt she get her memory back, stupid brain!!!), Hugo and new year's eve. They are cool. I didnt know that glee star whats-her-name who sings so freaking beautifully, also played in that movies. and she way cool. oh yeah i also re watched Killer. do you still remember it? it has asthon kutcher in it and that girl, again, i forgot her name and i have no intention to search it, i believe you'll find out haha. she is a blondie, she also played in grey's anatomy, the doctor who got cancer hahaha. And well i dont know why i had a sudden feeling to watch it. i just had hahaha. 

Okay i think i'm starting to talk absurd so i'd better finish this post right now. Its been nice knowing that you kinda miss me too hahaha. because well i miss you so much!! hahaha you are really hard to read so i thought you like didnt really care whether i was around or not. some people do so i try to hope the least of things hahaha.

Thank you anyway, for caring and for commenting ;) they are appreciated hhahaha

with coolness,

Cindy

PS : just i expected, this reply is a lot more than a comment box could ever take. i could be a paranormal, dont you think?